That book didn't do it for me. There are SO many things I would do if I weren't scared. I'd move to a new place. I'd find a new job. I'd socialize more. I'd "network". It isn't as if I've never done these things before. Maybe I have just had enough over the years and need to regroup.
I keep on coming up with more material for a damned good stand up routine. Funny thing is, it seems like a commitment to even start with that. What is WITH me? I know I can write, too. People have told me I'm very good at it. So what's stopping me from getting on with the book I started?
Just rambling and bitching today.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Jewellery
I have too much jewellery. Never thought I'd ever say that. Too much jewellery that I have bought for myself. That and too many wallets. (With my ex-husband, aka "the bastard", it was always sunglasses; he could never have too many pairs. They weren't cheap either. At least my self-bought jewellery is understated.)
Myself; I can't resist buying leather, silver and stones. And Lapidary is one of my favourite words.
Every day I try to wear a piece of family jewellery. Something that was given to me by my Grandma or my Uncle, after my favourite Auntie's death. Or I'll wear the hefty silver bangle that my Mom gave to me; one from her parents that she never wore... that I love. Sometimes I wear my Michael's Mother's cameo that she gave to me the day before she died. Then when HE died I had a ring made with our two birthstones. And even that keeps me closer to him.
If, on any given day, I am not wearing one of these family downs or love links, I inevitably feel a little bereft. I definitely feel as if I'm remembering in a more comfortable way when I wear the garnet or rolled gold ring or the gold fob bracelet. How is it that these pieces work the same way scents do? The light airy quality of Oil of Olay takes me back nearly 40 years, right to my Grandmother's house. ('cept then and there it was "Oil of Ulay")
The feeling with jewellery isn't quite so immediate. But it is there nonetheless. I get taken back to the presence of people passed. I feel a bond with them that I don't feel I when I am without their treasures for a day.
It's a good way to keep people with me. And I sometimes wonder what will happen to all the associated memories when I die. they'll probably be replaced by new ones, won't they. New ones belonging only to my sisters, niece, nephew or nephew's spouse.
This is a large part of exact;y why I believe in "something" after death. Not only those memories associated with scent or pieces of stone and metal.... but all memories. I created them with perception and as long a I live, they are there. So why should they disappear when I am convinced that consciousness is not tied to this "mortal coil"?
God now I seem to be borderline plagiarizing Willy. It wasn't my intent.
Myself; I can't resist buying leather, silver and stones. And Lapidary is one of my favourite words.
Every day I try to wear a piece of family jewellery. Something that was given to me by my Grandma or my Uncle, after my favourite Auntie's death. Or I'll wear the hefty silver bangle that my Mom gave to me; one from her parents that she never wore... that I love. Sometimes I wear my Michael's Mother's cameo that she gave to me the day before she died. Then when HE died I had a ring made with our two birthstones. And even that keeps me closer to him.
If, on any given day, I am not wearing one of these family downs or love links, I inevitably feel a little bereft. I definitely feel as if I'm remembering in a more comfortable way when I wear the garnet or rolled gold ring or the gold fob bracelet. How is it that these pieces work the same way scents do? The light airy quality of Oil of Olay takes me back nearly 40 years, right to my Grandmother's house. ('cept then and there it was "Oil of Ulay")
The feeling with jewellery isn't quite so immediate. But it is there nonetheless. I get taken back to the presence of people passed. I feel a bond with them that I don't feel I when I am without their treasures for a day.
It's a good way to keep people with me. And I sometimes wonder what will happen to all the associated memories when I die. they'll probably be replaced by new ones, won't they. New ones belonging only to my sisters, niece, nephew or nephew's spouse.
This is a large part of exact;y why I believe in "something" after death. Not only those memories associated with scent or pieces of stone and metal.... but all memories. I created them with perception and as long a I live, they are there. So why should they disappear when I am convinced that consciousness is not tied to this "mortal coil"?
God now I seem to be borderline plagiarizing Willy. It wasn't my intent.
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